UPDATE 9/5/18: The 2018 Vikings Take Generator™ is now updated with the initial 53-man roster, Practice Squad, and IR players.
Keeping up with your favorite football team can be almost impossible these days. There are currently 92 players listed on the official Vikings roster. (Thanks for the extra room, Kentrell and Cayleb!) Twenty-nine of those players are new to the NFL. Nearly half of these names will be long gone by the time the dust settles on the 53-man roster in early September. How does one keep up with all these moving parts while still forming impressive-sounding football opinions? Can you still be a football know-it-all in today’s fast-paced information age?
Sure, if you put in the work I guess. You could actually do the research on each player, watch game film, read countless articles from NFL experts and insiders, learn about different schemes and positions, and study all the various analytics that factor into player performance. Once all that is done, you weigh everything out and form an unbiased opinion.
But that’s hard and labor-intensive and it requires actual talent. Who has time for all that nonsense?
Nobody, that’s who!
Luckily, I have just the perfect solution for the modern football fan on the go. Now you can give your smart-sounding opinion of every player on the roster with a simple click of a button!
I present to you—the 2018 Vikings Take Generator™!
If this gimmick sounds slightly familiar, it’s because Ted and I rolled out the Andy Benoit Take Generator last August. While Benoit remains one of the all-time greats at churning out takes that don’t always seem to make much sense, I decided to expand my horizons this time around. The new and improved 2018 Vikings Take Generator™ now churns out football platitudes from all corners of football Twitter.
Some new features of the 2018 Vikings Take Generator™:
- Every player on the Vikings roster is now included!
- Dozens of additional takes that weren’t in the first version, including takes lifted directly from the tweets of Benoit and other infamous talent evaluators!
- Instead of a link that reloaded the page every time, I dusted off my HTML skills and created a handy button to churn out takes at a much more efficient rate. (This is exactly how I envisioned using my Computer Science degree, by the way.)
So the next time you find yourself in a football conversation but you aren’t confident that your takes will be up to snuff, just break out the 2018 Vikings Take Generator™. With over 500,000 unique take combinations, you’ll always sound like the smartest fan in the room! Heck, you’ll probably get an offer to become a sportswriter!
Keep clicking the button and share some of your favorites in the comments below. It’s hours of fun!*
*Actual length of fun may vary. Daily Norseman and its subsidiaries are not liable for you getting laughed out of the room should you actually try to use the 2018 Vikings Take Generator™. All sales final.