2019 NFL Draft: Mock Wars, Tedisode 2.0: Attack of the Mock

Hi kids, and welcome to my second mock draft in this years Star Wars movie rip-off theme. If you like to keep track of my long running mock draft idiocy, feel free to peruse last week’s iteration here:

Mock Wars Tedisode 1.0: The Phantom Draft Picks

From there, you can link back farther, and read even more lunacy! As my mocks pile up like a major wreck on I-494 during rush hour, I’ll post a link to each one for you to point at and laugh. If you’re just tuning in to this...ridiculous...exercise, a fair word of warning. Consider these the ground rules:

I’m not a professional scout, coach, or GM. I am, however, an idiot.

If you EVER get to the point where you think ‘man this guy is pretty sharp about drafting and stuff’ go back and read the previous sentence. Then talk to any member of my family, immediate or extended, and they’ll set you straight.

My methodology is fairly straightforward. I’m using Fanspeak’s On The Clock deluxe, high falutin’ draft simulator, that allows me to make and receive trade offers.

In formulating and/or accepting trades, I’m using the 2019 Drafttek Trade Value Chart. I know most teams don’t follow it to the number, and other trades include players, like the Percy Harvin trade a few years back. Trading players in this simulation isn’t an option, and you have to have some kind of baseline, so this is mine:

To determine my needs besides offensive line, for now I’m going to go with the assumption that between Anthony Barr, Sheldon Richardson, and Everson Griffen, two of these players will be elsewhere come draft day. So with that in mind, my needs are:

Offensive line

Linebacker

Defensive line

Wide receiver

My draft strategy is to try and mimic GM Rick Spielman as much as possible—controlled aggression to get players that are dropping (see Dalvin Cook) or the best players available at a real position of need (see Pat Elflein). I know Spielman likes to have 10 picks heading into draft weekend, and if he doesn’t have them he’ll make trades get to that magic number, if possible. However, my ultimate goal is to get the best players I can assemble, not assemble 10 players.

In setting up the draft variables, I chose to use Bleacher Report my big board, the computer is using multiple boards, as it would be in the actual draft, and the difficulty level is set to classic. Team needs are set to NFL Mock.

Heading into round one, the picks available for the Vikings are:

Okay, let’s get to it.

1st Round

Before the round begins, I get two offers:

Hmmmm, trade up and lose my second round pick, or let Jon Gruden be Jon Gruden, with me as the beneficiary. LET ME ACCOMMODATE HIM! I accept the offer before Oak Vegasfrisco changes their mind, and these are now my picks:

I’m literally ecstatic over this development in a totally fictional scenario, which is a sad reflection on me, I understand. When I come on the clock, this is my big board:

This has worked out even better than I can imagine. Easiest pick ever.

Selection, pick 24 (1/24): Cody Ford, G, Oklahoma

Rationale: I can’t believe it. I traded down to 24, got an extra first round pick, and still got one of the two or three best offensive lineman in the draft, who has position flexibility as a guard or tackle. Dalton Risner goes one pick after me at 25 so I’m a bit miffed that my first round dream of Ford-Risner is dead, but overall I can’t complain. I can probably get another o-line starter in the second round, and I’m giddy I got Ford. The other pick at 26 was Jerry Tillery, so my board is still about the same as I come to pick 27. Even though my big board shows Andre Dillard on the board, I need to address defense.

Selection, pick 27 (1/27): Devin Bush, LB, Mi[That Team Up North]an

Rationale: Yes, Jeffrey Simmons was still on the board, and for me it was between him or Bush. Bush’s alma mater weighed heavily against him (haha not really okay maybe Go Bucks) but Simmons had that domestic abuse incident in 2016. Those seem to be the type of red flags the Vikings avoid in players, so that weighed in to the decision as well. This pick was also influenced by my belief that at this point it feels like the Vikes will probably re-sign Sheldon Richardson, and not Anthony Barr, making Bush a great choice here.

2nd Round

When the second round begins, I get two offers:

Okay, Brian Gutekunst, quit calling. Just because your Dad used to coach the Gophers back in the day, doesn’t mean you can call us for trade offers that help your team. The Niners offer is intriguing, though. I lose a second round pick, but I would end up with two third and fourth round picks, still no fifth, but four sixth rounders, thirteen picks in all. I turn it down, because I want to see what’s available. This is the big board in round two when I come up to pick:

There’s nobody I’m pining for right now, so I’m thinking I’ll trade down, if I can find a dance partner. I call up He of the Magnificent Chin Dimple, Bill O’Brien, and offer this:

Yes, he accepts! Back to back picks in round two, and four picks total in the first two rounds. I don’t like giving up a future second round, but this is for this year’s fake draft, and doesn’t matter. My remaining picks:

That gives me ten picks overall, with two each in the first and second rounds. When I go on the clock for my back to back picks, this is my new big board, which hasn’t changed much:

The move down hasn’t affected who I want to take; both guys I want are available.

Selection, pick 54 (2/22): Michael Deiter, OL, Wisconsin.

Rationale: For whatever reason, Bleacher Report has Deiter as their 81st overall prospect, which seems a bit low to me. Several big boards I had to choose from have Deiter in the 30’s and 40’s overall, with a high of 33. He’s a versatile guy, more so than Elgton Jenkins, who is more of a pure center. I still think Pat Elflein is the long term answer at that position, so drafting Deiter gives me an immediate answer at guard, with an option to move him to center if Elf still struggles, or even tackle, as he played all three positions at Wisconsin.

Selection, pick 55 (2/23): Deebo Samuel, WR, South Carolina

Rationale: Minnesota needs a wide receiver that can take some heat off of Adam Thielen and Stefon Diggs, and with both my biggest offensive and defensive needs addressed, getting a guy like Samuel here is a great move. He’s good out wide and in the slot, so he brings versatility to the position, and will allow OC Kevin Stefanski and Denver Mafia Godfather Gary Kubiak the ability to come up with some creative play designs when these three guys are on the field.

3rd Round

When the third round opens, I get two more offers:

The Dallas offer isn’t really all that great, so no thanks. The two third round picks are comp picks from the Rams, which yeah they’re third round picks, but I don’t know that I want to drop that far. I’ll pass. After 12 picks go by in the third round, there’s a guy still on the board that probably won’t be around if I wait until my pick, so, I decide to try and trade up. I give the Panthers a call:

They accept it, and now I’m on the clock. My updated set of picks and big board are as follows:

Let’s take care of the last true need, shall we?

Selection: Charles Omenihu, DL, Texas

Rationale: In other draft classes, Omenihu could very well be a high to mid second round guy. But with all the talented defensive linemen in this class, his stock gets pushed down some, and that’s a benefit to the Vikings. He played DT at Texas, but his size and speed can project to a 4-3 EDGE guy in the NFL. I just don’t think both Everson Griffen and Richardson will be in purple next year, but I do think one of them will. If we continue with the assumption Richardson stays, Omenihu helps fill the loss of Griff, and his skillset gives DL coach Andre Patterson some rotational flexibility while doing so.

4th Round

With the first three rounds, I’ve set myself up nicely to address secondary needs. Not as in the defensive secondary, but as in below primary needs. I look at those as running back, maybe defensive back, and tight end. There’s no one I really feel I need to chase after in a trade up scenario, and I get no trade offers as the round begins or as I go on the clock. The fourth round big board:

What’s that? An Ohio State player, right in the wheelhouse for this pick? SAY NO MORE!

Selection: Mike Weber, RB, Ohio State

Rationale: With no guarantee of Latavius Murray returning, the Vikings could find themselves in need of a running back, and Weber fits the bill here. He was OSU’s top RB until freshman sensation J.K. Dobbins came to Columbus, but Weber never griped about losing his starting job. He performed well in a secondary/committee role, and has good hands out of the backfield.

5th Round

No selection for the Vikings in this round. This pick was traded for Trevor Siemian last year during free agency. In retrospect, I’d rather have this pick back, but rules are rules.

6th Round

I get no trade offers and I make no trade offers in the sixth round, so this is what the big board looks like when I go on the clock:

By this point of the draft, needs are mostly filled, so I’m looking for dual role players. And by dual role, I mean guys that are at a position of need while simultaneously having a cool sounding name. Chuma Odoga goes to the front of the line for great names, because as a blogger I would love to say ‘who let the Odoga out, who, who, who’ when he pancakes a dude. And yes, I would 100% overplay that line. I have great linemen already, though, so let’s emphasize position without sacrificing name pun potential:

Selection: Sheldrick Redwine, CB, Miami

Rationale: I have no idea if Redwine is related to former Vikings RB Jarvis Redwine. I hope he is, because I dig the Vikings connection, but mostly, I can use the name Redwine as a pun off the UB40 classic, ‘Red, Red Wine’...stay close tooo meeee-eeee--eeeee. Red red wine you make me feel so fine, feel so happy all of the time...

Oh, football reasons? LOL shut up it’s the sixth round. You have no idea who this dude is, either. He’d a depth CB, okay?

7th Round

So here’s the deal. It’s the seventh round. It’s lunchtime, I’m hungry, and I have two picks to make. Big board doesn’t matter, because it’s Easton Stick and favorite remaining OSU guy time and you don’t know who any of these guys left are, anyway.

Selection, pick 249 (7/33): Easton Stick, QB, NDSU

Rationale: He’s actually moved up in rankings. I took him here as opposed to my final pick, just to not ruin my ‘this year’s J.T. Barrett’ vibe I have going.

Selection, pick 254 (7/38): Johnny Dixon, WR, Ohio State

Rationale: Dixon was actually a pretty good WR for OSU, and might find a spot on the practice squad.

Recap

So let’s review. here’s Mock 2.0 draft class:

To get here, I made the following trades:

I ended up drafting nine players, and I think I have two immediate starters on the offensive line with Cody Ford and Michael Deiter. Devin Bush and Charles Omenihu are pretty good replacements to answer defensive questions that we’re still murky about, and Deebo Samuel will help us all forget about Laquon Treadwell. Mike Weber can be a good third running back and we have our project QB in Easton Stick and a good practice squad candidate in Johnny Dixon. I’d be pretty happy if this is how things go down on draft weekend. If you’d like to see how the entire fake draft played out, go here:

https://fanspeak.com/ontheclock/sharedraft.php?d=hrngpi